Invisible: Bisexual & Pansexual Burdens

Within the context of societal norms sexuality is supposed to look a certain way. This is due to a plethora of interpersonal communications, which in turn, affects an individual's idea of who they are supposed to be in the eyes of their community. These ideas come from their surrounding cultures, such as family, school, work, and media. Bisexual and pansexual people may create different personas to better assimilate into heteronormative environments. Wearing these different masks may cause an internal conflict within an individual because it is not their true self.  This can manifest itself into selective outness, which is caused by irrational fears perpetuated by the dominant culture. A culture that makes bisexuals and pansexuals invisible and invalid through erasure. Making them feel safer by not disclosing their sexuality. Minority stress theory suggests that these burdens and stigmas bisexual and pansexual people experience cause more psychological problems.

People try to fit in their surroundings the best they can, attempting to blend in like a chameleon.  In describing an aspect of Jungian theory, “There is a boundary between ego consciousness and the personal consciousness and also one between the personal and collective unconscious” (Cochrane et al., 2014, p.41). This divide can create different personas to fit into the collective unconscious. Since bisexual and pansexual individuals have this option to portray themselves as heteronormative they may do so to fit in better without making any waves. “This arbitrary segment of collective psyche- often fashioned with considerable pains - I have called the persona. The term persona is really a very appropriate expression for this, for originally it meant the mask once worn by actors to indicate the role they played” (Jung, 2014, p. 157). Wearing these different masks may cause an internal conflict within an individual because it is not their true self. They are keeping up an image to feel comfortable. Jung suggests that a person must go through a process of individuation, where one separates from the crowd and becomes a more authentic version of oneself, which creates more integrity (Cochrane et al., 2014, p.41). Then all these different personas will morph into a singularity and alleviate different stresses and conflicts that have been created in the self. 

These different personas equate to selective outness. “Selective outness is the process by which people of minoritized GSERD identities are relatively invisible in the dominant context until they make themselves visible—meaning they tend to be selective with who to be out with, when, and where” (Harvey et al., 2021, p. 196). In the United States heterosexuality is seen as the norm, so anything outside of that box is othered. Some privileges are bestowed when fitting into the institutionalized heteronormative structure (Jun, 2018). Jun (2018) said this about bisexuals: "They are waiting to reap the benefits of heterosexism" (p. 196).  If society says that life will be easier and you move further ahead if you play the heteronormative card, why wouldn’t a bisexual or pansexual take advantage? But at what cost? Creating different personas. They are portraying the image that society says is normal. 

The “heterosexual presumption” is that someone is assumed straight unless proven otherwise (Anderson & McCormack, 2016). This can work to their advantage of fitting easier into society but have effects on their identity. Anderson and McCormack (2016) say, 

“Bisexual men who are dating women do not need to come out to have their relationship publicly recognized in a way that gay men or bisexual men in a same-sex relationship do. While being mistaken as heterosexual is undoubtedly a component of bisexual burden – and while bisexuals in a relationship might feel stigmatized through having their identity erased – there is still the option to have sex, affection and a relationship without having to contest dominant social norms. In this regard, and for bisexuals who either want or are in a relationship with another sex, heterosexism serves to mask the condemned aspects of their desire and provides a level of shelter from forms of stigma” (p.55).

Heterosexuals retain power within the societal framework, and nonheterosexuals are viewed as inferior to heterosexuals in society (Jun, 2018). No one wants to be seen as inferior. There is an unwavering desire to fit into the dominant heteronormative collective. 

The dominant heteronormative society can create an irrational fear within bisexual and pansexual individuals. This fear can encase them in a prison of their own creation. Jun (2018) says, 

“‘Irrational fear’ suggests that nonheterosexuality itself is not the problem but irrational fear about homosexuality is the problem. Thus it is not a problem of the person who is nonheterosexual but the system which fosters heteronormativity” (p. 188). 

This irrational fear can be caused by several environmental factors, such as online versus offline, geographical location within the nation, living in an urban or rural environment, and the community's ethnic and/or religious composition (Harvey et al., 2021). All these considerations can contribute to a person's invisibility and visibility management. How little society and its members validate, identify, and acknowledge minority nonheterosexual individuals and relationships is known as "invisibility management." “Visibility management” is the extent to which minoritized nonheternormative individuals, partners, and other members of a relational system are “out” in different contexts. The extent to which the greater society around them engages in invisibility management has a significant impact on visibility management. This visibility is about a person's safety (Harvey et al., 2021). “Pew’s research found that the primary reason bisexuals didn’t come out was fear for the lack of acceptance, which also explains why bisexuals are significantly more likely to date someone of the opposite sex than the same” (Anderson & McCormack, 2016, p. 57). For bisexual and pansexual people, it could feel safer to stay hidden than to reveal their sexual orientation in front of others who might find them offensive. Nonetheless, there is a connection between feeling authentic, acknowledged, or represented and being unable to be out (Hayfield, 2020). 

There are consequences to one's psyche in the bisexual and pansexual community when they participate in invisibility/visibility management. Ginicola et al. (2017) says, 

“Bisexuals themselves may feel guilt over this privilege, and it can lead to additional discrimination and invalidation of bisexuals by others in the LGBTQI+ communities. Although outsiders may grant heterosexual privilege when one is read as heterosexual, this type of privilege for bisexuals also promotes oppression because it increases bisexual invisibility. Even though bisexuality has existed throughout history, in various societies, and in other animal species, bisexuals continually face others' contentions that bisexuality does not exist, a phenomenon known as bisexual erasure” (p. 175). 

The privilege of oscillating between bisexual and heteronormative can be met with this feeling of remorse. When bisexual and pansexual individuals make themselves invisible they are contributing to writing themselves out of society and history, which is called self-erasure.    

Bisexuals and pansexuals are often invalidated and made invisible by erasure, where they are erased from schools, mass media, the workplace, and policies (Hayfield, 2020). Within the classroom, the words bisexual and pansexual are rarely uttered. Usually, they are lumped in with the greater notion of the LBGTQ+ community, despite having their own unique experiences (Hayfield, 2020). This extends into extracurricular activities, like gay-straight alliances (Hayfield, 2020). Bisexuality and pansexuality are often silenced or misrepresented in school curricula, which perpetuate binary and monosexist ideas about gender and sexuality (Hayfield, 2020). According to reports, teachers and peers have responded negatively towards bisexuality and pansexuality, by “invalidating these sexualities as non-existent, as a temporary stage, as women purely seeking the attention of heterosexual men, or as promiscuous, hypersexual, and linked to sexual disease” (Hayfield, 2020, p. 84). Students who identified as pansexuals in a Canadian study said that their instructors and classmates either did not comprehend pansexuality or were confused by its disruption of the sex/gender binary (Hayfield, 2020). Compared to homosexual students, bisexual and pansexual students reported greater rates of various forms of emotional and physical victimization (Hayfield, 2020). Perhaps schools are a reflection of the larger cultural environment where bisexuality and pansexuality are invisible and met with hostility. 

It has only been recently that gay and lesbian people have been presented with the same protection and benefits as their heterosexual counterparts included in workplace policies, but bisexual and pansexual individuals remain invisible within these policies, procedures, and other resources (Hayfield, 2020). When it comes to equality and diversity policies bisexuals and pansexuals usually fall under the greater LGBTQ+ umbrella (Hayfield, 2020). In regard to corporate benefits like health insurance, pensions, and parental and compassionate leave, for instance, equal rights are usually framed around same-sex/gender couples as being equivalent to different-sex/gender relationships, which can make bisexual and pansexual people feel excluded (Hayfield, 2020). The exclusion of people with different sexual orientations is crucial because workplace policies "reflect and regulate sexual norms for all employees," which in turn shape workplace cultures and organizational norms (Hayfield, 2020, p. 87). In the Netherlands, bisexual women reported that their opinions were ignored and didn’t have equal promotion opportunities (Hayfield, 2020). “Survey of LGBT Americans, 50% of lesbians, 48% of gay men, but only 11% of bisexual people reported that most or all of their close colleagues knew about their sexuality” (Hayfield, 2020, p. 89). Perhaps this is because bisexuals feel like it is more beneficial to take advantage of the heteronormative policies and culture in the workplace. By not not coming out they ultimately participate in self-erasure (Hayfield, 2020). 

In mainstream media, bisexuality and pansexuality are mostly invisible or misrepresented (Hayfield, 2020). Mediums like TV, movies, and social media, have a big influence on people's perspectives. So, if bisexual or pansexual people are represented in negative ways then people's perception of those groups may be unsavory. Oftentimes in TV and movies sexualities outside the heterosexual/homosexual binary lean on “non-monogamy, threesomes, love triangles, or short-lived casual relationships with people of different genders,” which results in stereotypes, rather than a diverse picture (Hayfield, 2020, p. 94). Hayfield (2020) says, 

“Characters may be portrayed as promiscuous, hedonistic, unstable, abnormal, mentally ill, immoral, or even as murderers. Overall, representations of attraction to more than one gender are often largely negative. These characteristics are often specifically associated with the character’s sexuality, and the take-home message is that bisexual (or pansexual or plurisexual) people – whether their sexuality is explicitly named or not – are destructive and a threat” (p. 94).  

For example, in the Netflix show Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018) the character Ambrose (Chance Perdomo) is pansexual and is portrayed as a hedonistic warlock that participates in orgies. It’s great that a pansexual is being represented, but negative stereotypes are being depicted. 

Relying on these stereotypical tropes to identify bisexual and pansexual people in media could also be because there is no identifiable look associated with them. Physical appearance also contributes to bisexual and pansexual invisibility. Someone's visual identity is how they are perceived by the external world. “Appearance potentially serves as a non-verbal communication tool to convey information about us to others, as well as historically having served particular functions” (Hayfield, 2020, p. 65). There are no recognizable bisexual or pansexual looks. This is due to their overall lack of recognition in society (Hayfield, 2020). In an appearance study participants were asked if they could identify bisexuality through appearance, which they often defaulted to by discussing lesbian attributes (Hayfield, 2020, p. 69). Gay and lesbian people have shared visual identities, which allows them to be out and visible to others (Hayfield, 2020). When you think of a gay or lesbian person a specific picture pops into your head. These appearance norms help build communities with a sense of acceptance and belonging (Hayfield, 2020). This lack of an identifiable visual representation for bisexual and pansexual individuals can create the feeling that they don’t know where they belong. 

According to recent studies, being open about one’s sexual identity, or being “out,” can have certain advantages that are associated with better well-being, such as boosting social support and community connectedness (Rentería et al., 2023).  Understandably, being a more authentic version of oneself would have some positive impacts, such as higher self-esteem and confidence. But this is true for gay and lesbian individuals, bisexuals being out may have negative consequences. Evidence suggests that bisexuals who are out have higher rates of depression and substance use issues (Rentería et al., 2023). Bisexual people deal with particular stressors that gay and lesbian people do not, such as stereotypes exclusive to the bisexual community (Rentería et al., 2023). 

According to the minority stress theory sexual minorities endure chronic stress due to their stigmatization in society, which includes psychological burdens that are different from those experienced by heterosexual communities (Anderson & McCormack, 2016). Rothblum (2020) says, 

“A growing body of work has explicitly taken up the issue of bisexual-specific minority stressors, such as anti-bisexual attitudes or prejudice, including microaggressions; rejection or exclusion from both heterosexual and lesbian gay communities; internalized biphobia and fear of being “out” as bisexual; and the lack of support from an identifiable bisexual community” (p. 274). 

Anderson and McCormack (2016) refer to this myriad of problems as the bisexual burden (p.51). In a study examining the mental health of individuals with different sexual identities, pansexual participants reported higher levels of anxiety and despair than gay and lesbian participants (Levounis & Yarbrough, 2020). Compared to both heterosexual and lesbian women, bisexual women typically do worse when it comes to assessments of depression, anxiety, or related symptomatology (Rothblum, 2020). Bisexual men have poorer mental health compared to heterosexual men, but consistent with gay men (Rothblum, 2020). According to another study, bisexual women reported the highest rate of suicide attempts of any group, with lifetime suicide attempts and past-year suicidal ideation being much more common among them than among heterosexuals (Rothblum, 2020). These implicit feelings come from living in a dominant heteronormative and monosexual society, where bisexuals and pansexuals face erasure and undoubtedly participate in self-erasure.  

Being bisexual or pansexual in a society that is dominated by heterosexuality and monosexuality can feel like a burden. A burden, which can weigh a person down. The surrounding society dictates a person's invisibility and visibility management. A person may choose to be selectively out rather than fully out, because of irrational fears. There might be fewer hurdles for bisexual and pansexual people if they are presumed heterosexual. But by not coming they are participating in self-erasure. What perpetuates this is that bisexuals and pansexuals are made invisible and invalid through erasure in schools, workplaces, and media. There is a lack of an open community that they can identify with, the way gay/lesbian people can. These burdens cause a myriad of mental problems, which are exclusive to bisexual and pansexual individuals. If only there was a way to make society more understanding of these sexual minorities and not force them into their molds. Then there might not be this division among people, where they have to wear inauthentic masks. Perhaps, as Jung suggests, they have to go through a process of individuation and separate from the herd to create a more authentic self.

References  

Anderson, E., & McCormack, M. (2016). The changing dynamics of bisexual men’s lives: Social Research Perspectives. Springer.  

Cochrane, M., Flower, S., Mackenna, C., & Morgan, H. (2014). A Jungian approach to analytic work in the Twenty-First century. British Journal of Psychotherapy, 30(1), 33–50. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjp.12060 

Ginicola, M. M., Smith, C., & Filmore, J. M. (2017). Affirmative Counseling with LGBTQI+ People. John Wiley & Sons.

Harvey, R., Murphy, M. J., Bigner, J. J., & Wetchler, J. L. (2021). Handbook of LGBTQ-Affirmative Couple and Family Therapy. Routledge. 

Hayfield, N. (2020). Bisexual and pansexual identities: Exploring and Challenging Invisibility and Invalidation. Routledge.

Jun, H. (2018). Social justice, Multicultural Counseling, and Practice (2nd e.). Springer. 

Jung, C. G. (2014). Collected Works of C.G. Jung, Volume 7: Two Essays in Analytical Psychology. In Princeton University Press eBooks. https://doi.org/10.1515/9781400850891 

Levounis, P., MD MA, & Yarbrough, E., MD. (2020). Pocket Guide to LGBTQ Mental Health: Understanding the Spectrum of Gender and Sexuality. American Psychiatric Pub.

Rentería, R., Feinstein, B. A., Dyar, C., & Watson, R. J. (2023). Does outness function the same for all sexual minority youth? Testing its associations with different aspects of well-being in a sample of youth with diverse sexual identities. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, 10(3), 490–497. https://doi.org/10.1037/sgd0000547  

Rothblum, E. D. (2020). The Oxford Handbook of Sexual and Gender Minority Mental Health. Oxford University Press, USA.